9. How to be a Good Mum with Anxiety & Depression.

What do I need to do to ensure that I am a happy mom??  You may ask, "is that even possible with a diagnosis of anxiety and depression?".  

Having received my mental health diagnoses relatively late in life, at 36 years old, and prior to giving birth to my two children, I have gone through the mental and emotional tough times when my children were needing of my full attention 24/7.  Now they are teenagers, they still need me, but they value their time with friends and of course there is online schooling, so I now have more time I need to replenish me.  

What one mom needs for happiness may differ from another.  But, as a typical introvert, I crave some time alone each day to re-charge my emotional batteries, seeing as  a lot of time spent with other people completely drains me emotionally and physically.  So my Post # 8 on the importance of a daily 5am morning routine, for me,  is key.  I need that time early in the morning to be by myself doing the things that feed my body and soul!  Then,  I can truly be fully present for my husband and children when they need me and still maintain good mental health.

I also take medication daily, at approximately the same time each day, which has been very helpful for stabilizing my mood.  Since my initial diagnosis I have changed medicines several times, and luckily for me my current medications are of help.  Unfortunately, this is not always the case for many.  

Another part of the equation is how I deal with my time and attention.  

I cannot over-estimate the need for moms to have a support system, in my case my loving and supportive husband and understanding teenaged children.  They help feed my feelings of security and being loved.  This love cannot be over-estimated, and I do not know how fulfilled I would be without my family.  So the value of a healthy support system, be it family or friends or a combination of both, and a good therapist is of great import, in my opinion, in helping one to be an able parent, especially if you have mental illness.

I thrive as a Mom when I am feeling happy and light.  On the other hand, when I am having a "bad day" and depression is all I feel, my children understand when I briefly tell them "I'm having a bad day today, so if I am in a bad mood it is nothing to do with you"  and they completely understand and it takes away both the stress and pressure to be "perfect" and helps my children to feel secure and loved even when I'm not being happy.  As I "level" with my children about how I am feeling and assure them that it has nothing to do with them, it frees my children and me from stress and anxiety.   They know I suffer from depression and that some days are good and some days not so good, and they are learning from me how to be a good parent despite mental health challenges.